Privacy Policy HiredAssassin.com Privacy Policy Any and all information collected at this site will used for purely fictional reasons. no responsibility or liability for any damages of any kind arising out of, or in connection with the use, copying or display of, the fictonal information collected. This is a parody website and nothing more and will only collect parody information. Any and all information collected at this site will be kept strictly confidential and will not be sold, reused, rented, loaned, or otherwise disclosed. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. A link to HiredAssassin.com's Privacy Policy can be found on the left navigation bar of almost every page. What Information is Collected and How it is Used? Feedback Form: HiredAssassin.com collects contact information such as name and email address. Every message is read and HiredAssassin.com tries to reply promptly to every one. This information is used to respond directly to your questions or comments. HiredAssassin.com Site Award: Users submit their email address, title of site, and site URL. This information is used to review the site and respond to the visitor's submission. Top Site List: HiredAssassin.com collects information such as email address, site URL, description of site, title of site, password, and banner URL. This information is used to review a site, add it to the Top Site List, and allow users to visit your site. Site-Rings: HiredAssassin.com collects information such as email address, site URL, description of site, title of site and password. This information is used to review a site, add it to the Site-Rings and allow users to visit your site and you to visit the Site-ring you have joined. Banner and Link exchange: HiredAssassin.com collects information such as site URL, description of site, title of site and banner URL. This information is used to review a site, add it to the Banner and or Link exchange, and allow users to visit your site. Terms and Conditions This is not an official page of the US Government, US Air Force, US Navy, US Marine Corps, US Coast Guard, US Army or of any other United States Government Organization. Any information contained within was gained through multiple non-classified materials and is not subject to the duty of secrecy. Information presented on this website is purely fictional. We shall bear no responsibility or liability for any damages of any kind arising out of, or in connection with the use, copying or display of, the site's content or any content from any other site. This is a parody website and nothing more. Some equipment shown is optional. Warning: Pregnant Women, the Elderly, and Children should avoid prolonged exposure to this website. All models over 18 years of age. List was current at time of printing. May cause physical trauma, up to and including agitation of prostate. Discontinute use if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Hearing Loss, Dizziness, Blurred Vision (natural or cyber-assisted), Tingling in Extremities, Muscle Twitching, Loss of Balance or Coordination, Slurred Speech, Temporary Blindness, Ringing in the Ears, Diarrhea, Odoriferous Belching, Uncontrollable Flatulence, Profuse Sweating or Heart Palpitations. Reader assumes full responsibility. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. This website is meant for educational purposes only. Void where prohibited by law. Some assembly required. Use only as directed. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp, fold, spindle or mutilate. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Contains a substantial amount of non-medicinal ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Employees and their families are not eligible. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Not recommended for children. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this website appear for identification purposes only. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Not an oral contraceptive. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Keep away from pets and small children. Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. This website contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. If this website begins to smoke, get away immediately, seek shelter, cover head, and be afraid--be very afraid. Ingredients of this website include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Ribbed for your pleasure. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water,motor vehicle accident, alien invasion, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Cosmic, X, and N-Rays, knives, stones, etc. ad nauseum...)Despite Any Other Listing of Website Contents Found Hereon, the Viewer is Advised That, in Actuality, This website Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space. The Webmaster May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Website Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Member of this site Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected. Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Member Is Not Directly Observing This Site, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State even implode. The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Site Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Websites, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied. Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Website, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User. The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Website, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Website in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed. Do not add water to this website as it will cause thousands on tiny websites. Do not feed this website after midnight. Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you. This website contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA. WARNING DO NOT TURN THIS WEBSITE UPSIDE DOWN! During this websites infancy on the planet Krypton. This website is named HiredAssassin.com by its parents, HiredAssassin.com, a brilliant scientist. On Krypton, a technocracy without separate countries, the scientists decide global social policies. This website invents a relatively humane method of punishing convicted criminals "the Phantom Zone Projector", which banishes dangerous websites and Trolls into a non-corporeal existence in another dimension. Heated Mirrors are not included. This website also discovers Krypton is off its orbit, and works in sub-zero temperatures then straying too close to its red sun, causing a nuclear reaction at its uranium core. According to the film, HiredAssassin.com: the Movie, when This website warnings are disregarded by the control-obsessed government elders who live in France, he is not just ignored, as in this website, but coerced into agreeing not to leave Krypton. As the Website legend goes, HiredAssassin.com has no time to construct a spaceship large enough for it, this website, and infant HiredAssassin.com. This website does have a working prototype of a rocket large enough to accommodate a this website (this version is from 1948 before animal experimentation becomes controversial and the French become arrogant and shave their arm pits using a 50 foot ladder and a Bic razor. This website, Kryptonopolis, begins crumbling, HiredAssassin.com and This website agree to send this webiste away in the tiny spacecraft. Travel Warnings to this website are issued when the This website decides, based on all relevant information, to recommend this people avoid travel to a certain sections of the site. Viewers where avoidance of viewing is recommended will have viewing Warnings as well as Consular Information Sheets. WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING! Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice on this website and Do not spray in your face! Only use in well ventilated areas because this website is cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits and some of the contents are flammable tampons. CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails as they may cause irritation! Remember before entering this website to: Direction #1 is Remove plastic. For serious injuries, seek medical attention. This website tastes so good this box never closes. To close this website place tab here. 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate HTML and Java Script. This website is Not for highway use. Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing from the website. Do press any links near fire or flame or not put any person in this washer. This website can be inherently unsafe and ... known to be unsafe by the ordinary consumer who consumes the website with the ordinary knowledge common to the community. Do not expose this site to items such as sugar, castor oil, alcohol, tobacco and butter as such an action based on a manufacturing defect or breach of an express warranty of this website. Strict constructionists will not have difficulty following the statute, but any court interested in giving the statute a liberal reading will find sufficient vagueness or intent to expand the interpretation of this website. Cavers involved a motorized golf cart that rolled over causing injuries on this website. This bathroom on this website will not be found liable for negligence in failing to place proper warning labels on the toilets and or sulfuric acid drums in use on any floor. If a theatrical smoke-producing device set fire, run. Run fast, run long and run hard. Just run Damnit! Some parts of this site contains more that 15% Benzol, Beware of Poisonous Fumes. This website fell to earth millions of years ago from a distant planet. This site Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity. This Site Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the WebSites of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the website of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them. This website melts in your mouth, not in your hand. The Mass of This website Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight. HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Website Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour. CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Viewer of this website to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This website Is and How Fast It Is Moving. ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Website May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Webmaster Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result. READ THIS BEFORE OPENING WEBPAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this website May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years. THIS IS A 100% MATTER WEBSITE: In the Unlikely Event That This Website Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result. PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This website, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe. NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Website Are Held Together by a "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.. Other restrictions may apply.Comments and opinions on this webpage are not necessarily those of HiredAssassin.com and all associated characters are trademarks of HiredAssassin.com . All Rights Reserved Our Privacy Policy was developed as an extension of our commitment to combine the highest-quality products and services with the highest level of integrity in dealing with our visitors, members, and partners. It is designed not only to assist you in understanding how we collect, use, and safeguard the personal information you provide to us, but also to help you in making informed decisions when using our Site and our products and services. This Privacy Policy will be continuously assessed against new technologies, business practices, and our Site viewers' needs! In compliance with the Children?s Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998, no one under 13 years of age can use our Web site. If you are a minor between the ages of 13 and 18, you may use our Site only in conjunction with your parent, legal guardian, or other responsible adult.Personally identifiable information refers to information that tells us specifically who you are. Personal information is collected when you voluntarily choose to become a member of this Web site . You are asked to provide certain basic information such as your name, current email address, desired member name, and service affiliation. You may also provide additional personal information at your option. Further, if you choose to correspond with us through email, we may retain the content of your email messages together with your email address and our responses.

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